Grandpa Coley

This is Grandpa Coley, he was a Glaswegian, he had the largest domestic collection of sewing machines in England. A week before he died, I told him this joke:
Two women go out for a night on the town. When walking home later they decide to stop at the local graveyard in order to take a piss. The first woman finishes pissing, then wipes with her knickers and throws them in a bush, the second woman finishes pissing, and wipes with a wreath she finds on one of the gravestones.
The next day the two women's husbands are sitting in the pub having a pint, Husband number 1 is being unusually quiet.
"Are you ok Dave?" asks Husband number 2, "you're not yourself today, is anything the matter?".
Husband number 1 looks at him sheepishly and says; "Well to be honest, something's on my mind, my wife came home last night with no underwear on, I'm really worried about it, I don't know what to say to her".
Husband number 2 looks at him and says; "Mate, that's fuck all, my wife came home last night with a card rammed up her arse which said 'We'll never forget you, from all the boys at the fire brigade'.
Grandpa Coley creased up.